Just sort of taking this one wherever it may go.nnBeen a weird day, for sure. Ups, downs, all arounds. High highs, low lows. Just crazy feeling all the time. And I am aware that no matter what I write here, nothing actually changes that can be construed as “productive” or even jog an idea that could move things along, that could possibly change the general outcome of my day-to-day life.nnIt’s the samennTomorrow is the samennThe day after tomorrow will be the same as the day before todaynnGet up, hop online, write shit throughout the day, sometimes catch a new post from another blog, watch a few YouTube videos. And a **lot** of time to fill in between that.nnThere isn’t *too* much to look forward to (in general), and not a whole hell of a lot to look back *upon* that I could take solace in. Just the same shit since forever, and *for* forever.nnSo this is what I deal with, all the time. Open-ended monotony, that doesn’t even have the dignity of being classified as a “routine”.nnI write, and oftentimes write in a quite honest way, and I can try to deal with some of this stuff, but even when I look straight at the demons their presence stares right back and nothing beneficial comes from it.nnI oftentimes wonder if it is my genuine positivity that keeps be afloat, or simply my continual ability to “be functional”.nnSome of these things revolve around mental health issues, others are strictly environmental. Outings, friends, activities, stimulation – they rarely occur.nnI am not 100% sure how things (life) got this way, or if *I* “let” it get this way? But whatever “it” is, it isn’t very pleasant.nnIt’s a burden, and incredibly isolating.nnSo there’s a post for the blog. Kind of useful during the time of it’s writing, but doubtful it could have any longterm affects.nnback later

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