one-more-time-with-emotion

What am **I** meant to do?nnThis, what I am doing right now. Online journaling + some web development on the side. nnI felt *bad* for a number of years. Like I was “meant” to go from low-level gossip blogger, to (somewhat) relevant blogger or/and writer, to journalist, to this, to that, and on and on.nnWhat a silly thing for me to have a plan like that. Or any plan, really. I mean the first two things kinda/sorta happened, but then I got too self-absorbed (and distracted by toxic friendships), and more or less became content with quitting on life. A terrible disposition to be in, indeed. Then I grew cynical with journalistic endeavors and consuming any/all media in general (nothing has changed there). And things came and went, and life moved on. But then…nn…slowly but surely, I began to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I started to regain confidence, ambition, motivation, became more self assured, and just happier, overall.nnMy only desire is that MORE people could feel this way. What *I* do, and what *I* pursue, and what *I* get into to pass the time and make myself productive is entirely up to ME. Sort of the “Extreme Ownership” frame of mind that I mentioned on this blog several times in the past. Just self-propelled determination, I would say.nnSo, I am just re-enforcing, reassuring, and re-committing myself to this position in life.nnPlans mean nothing, what I am doing in the Here and Now is all that matters.nnBack later

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