So, I remembered that I had an account on Twitch.tv, not that I use it, or really watch anything on there, and I have never streamed/uploaded anything, but, I DO have an account on that service.
And I looked at a channel I subscribed to, it is Megan Nicole and her husband, Cooper, and I watched a short clip from last Saturday. There was some back and forth talking/joking banter before the video gameplay started, and I thought to myself: "these jokes, these sideways ways of 'being funny', this back and forth dialogue of...whatever, ('Internet celebrity presentation', I suppose (most of the viewers of this Twitch channel are fans/former fans of Megan's former (successful) YouTube career of a cover song artist, where she was "a big deal" in the 20-teens)) - ALL of it seems a bit awkward and forced".
And then I thought back to roughly an hour ago, where I was writing a response on Midnight.pub to something a friend said about a CLI shortcut for copy/pasting blog posts from a text editor (or perhaps the CLI, itself? (I didn't understand a lot of his post, because I am not that skilled with computers, to be honest)), and in my response, I was about to mention how I, unlike many other people (strangely), feel VERY comfortable in the CLI, and I don't "stress" about messing things up, or crashing my VPS, or whatever. I negated to mention the "comfortable" aspect of it all, but I almost mentioned as much.
But, the "being comfortable" aspect of things, (any and all things), came to mind as I watched the aforementioned Twitch stream - it doesn't matter what one does in life, as long as they're comfortable with doing so. I feel very comfortable with the written word. With journaling. Blogging. Etc. And it is a thing I always want to do for the rest of my life (writing, anyway - I have no idea about how long my affinity for blogging will last (perhaps forever, as well!?)).
There are things I am 100% UNcomfortable with in life, too. Such as being on camera. I cannot do it AT ALL! If someone is taking a quick video with their phone, and puts me on camera, usually I am like "ok, fine, blah, blah - you're filming me and there is nothing I can do to stop you for the time being, so I will just "be myself" and be ok with it". But, if I fire up a camera (meaning of the recording varietal - not a still picture application) on my phone, I feel like my world is collapsing and I start to panic. How DO I talk to a camera? What do I HAVE to say, then, in THAT moment that needs to be said in video form? What will I DO with the video after? What are my goals/intentions behind recording such a clip?
And it doesn't come around to the quip Alan Watts made about "why do THIS, why do THAT, why bloody hell do ANYTHING?!", it's that I don't know why I would ever do THAT thing (record a video).
So, I (of course) gravitate towards what I am most comfortable with. What I genuinely like to do, and sort of make my life "about" that, to a certain extent. That's how I see it.