I realized why I feel so messed up/discombobulated, it is because I am slowly (but surely) withdrawing from nicotine, because I am used to having it all day/every day, but I am out of cigs and out of money until tomorrow, so, life kind of sucks for the time being :/nnIt will get better, but for now I feel completely out of sorts.nnWithdrawal symptoms are a *very* real thing, for any addiction. And most especially cigarettes/nicotine. I remember reading not too long ago about a former flash cartoon artist named “ArtistJ” from Newgrounds (when I was perusing the old General Forum threads from way back when), and when I checked his profile (mostly dormant), he said that he had given up ALL soda, from four 2-Liters a day to zero(0). I mentioned this briefly on this blog on the night of me reading that, as I was totally taken aback at how *difficult* that must have been to just **stop** like that. He said he had vomiting, irritability, etc. for a few weeks, and then months later he did the update on Newgrounds about how he was “clean” (my words, not his).nnI am basically the same way with tobacco/nicotine, though, I think I smoke a “normal” amount for a pipe smoker (eight or so pipes a day? maybe?). Whenever I have cigarettes, it is usually a pack a day (*instead* of pipe tobacco – never really both in the same day). But yes, it certainly *is* an addiction.nnHonestly, sitting here and writing this, and my mind is in a fog, like when an old friend of mine from back in 2010 was giving up booze and detoxing in a group home, and I remember lengthy conversations with him over Google Chat where I could decipher maybe 1/4 of what he said. He was *that* mixed up, mentally. Just words that didn’t fit together, etc. Crazy stuff. I almost feel like I am in *his* position now, like some of the stuff I am saying doesn’t make any sense. Weird.nnOf course, this is all the result of a single night of no nicotine, not alcohol detoxification (cause I don’t fool with booze, anymore). But still, detoxing/withdrawals are essentially all the same at the end of the day. nnBut the thing is, I *know* I will go back to cigarettes at some point tomorrow. I will just bum some cigs off my friend, Steven, and then have some to get me through until Wednesday morning. A foolish thing? Probably, but it is what it is.

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