In many ways, I feel that the majority of the past 10 years of my life (most of my 30’s) have been incredibly surreal. As if I am seeing things through a filter, of sorts. I think, with me, and the way **I** am, that seeing the world “as-is” could prove to be too painful, too striking, too intense – even for me. I sometimes think I may have [Cotard Delusion](, which is that of believing one “does not exist”, or is dead, or feels that life, itself, is a form of illusion.nnI don’t “feel” dead, per se, but I DO feel as if life is heavily filtered, mostly untrue, and that there are characteristics and traits that lie not far below the surface of the human spirit that are more or less (not undisturbed, but) DOMESTICATED into irrelevancy by modern society.nnPeople, time after time, generation after generation, become more and more and more and more reliant upon and complacent with modern conveniences and and expected conveyances. Some people refer to this as “evolution”, but of course that in and of itself is false because *humans* have not evolved for a great number of years – only the technology we use evolves. For a time. Until naturally-occurring events sort of hit a “reset button” on human progress and we fall back to our innate traits and characteristics that separate us from “the animals” (even though humans are just as much an animal as anything else).nnBut for now, for the time being, I feel like things aren’t as they should be, or maybe **I** am just not as I am. nnMedications tend to do weird things, indeed

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