I honestly haven’t had these in nearly 20 years. I was sort of doing a checkout thing for Instacart earlier, and my local Schnucks was/is out of Party Pizzas (again/still!), so I opted for the next best thing in terms of similar flavor – Tortino’s Pizza Rolls.nnSince two decades have passed since I’ve had these, I forgot the minutiae of what goes into preparing them, and then eating them. They are microwave-ready, but I am microwave-less, so I had to cook them in the oven. And if you have the opportunity to do this (assuming you are in a kitchen that has both a microwave *and* oven (why wouldn’t you?)), go for the oven. It’s like having a small pizza baked within a break-like potato chip.nnSo, I made a whole box (15), and then let them cool for five minutes or so after. I honestly thought that would be enough time for them to be *totally* cool, but I was wrong. What I recalled after I bit into the first pizza roll was the “nip and test” method of consuming them:nnnip off a corner > see if the sauce/cheese/juices are cool enough to be eaten > if not, let cool longernn…I completely forgot this test. Instead, I chomped into half a pizza roll, and then coated my tongue in what felt like boiling grease, and scorched the roof of my mouth – spitting out what I had just bitten into.nnSo now, I have a mild (2nd? 3rd? degree) burn on the upper part of my mouth and partially on my tongue. Of course everything cooled off with time, and the meal was not wasted – but incurring injury to eat a meal wasn’t what I wanted for my evening.nnback later

Subscribe to from the desk of TMO

Don’t miss out on the latest issues. Sign up now to get access to the library of members-only issues.