glitters-of-dopamine

As I and everyone (who reads here or **TMO**) knows, I left social media in late-2019. Best decision I ever made (in the past decade). nnAnd now, looking back on *how* I ever got wrangled in to such a toxic addiction (Twitter, namely – but other social media co’s, as well), I think of how I sort of “fell ass-backwards” into the habit.nnSee, I was on Newgrounds (daily) from 1998-ish until 2005. I mean, I went to Job Corps and the U.S. Army (both were said and done in a year, for me (no honorable stripes from the military, as it were)) in that time, but MOSTLY I was using Newgrounds.com 24/7 when I was a teenager and up until I was almost 21 years old. It’s just “the thing I did”. Everything about it was addicting.nnThen, when I was 21, I decided that along with quitting booze and videogames, I would quit Newgrounds, once and for all. So I did. And I promised myself to NEVER be addicted to another online service again. nnMySpace came along, and I avoided it 100%.nnReddit popped up around that time, too. Had/have nothing to do with it.nnPeople pumped social media (MySpace, Twitter, and Facebook) down my throat everywhere I looked, so I joined all three in one day – thinking, “yea, I’ll do this for a hot minute, until the fad/trend ends”. But I was hook, line, and sinker *hooked* on Twitter from day one.nnIt stopped being fun around 2011, I think. From 2009 until 2011, it was like I didn’t have enough receptors in the brain to “receive” all the dopamine my brain was unleashing. I was literally floating in a mental sea of “happy” toxicity (though I didn’t know how bad it *was*, and didn’t know how bad it would *stay* until some years later – even after the “happy” element went away).nnAnd no, it (Twitter) will never go back to that “type” of service ever again. If one was there, they experienced it. But that was THEN, this is NOW, and that is all there is.nnEven the Mastodon folks who say “Mastodon is like early Twitter” are either forgetting (or perhaps masking? IDK) the fact that Twitter was an epicenter of notifications, back and forth communication, “access” to everyone (hell, I could Tweet a journo I was watching on TV during a live commercial break and get a response IN that commercial break!), and also had a humorous banter to all of it. 140 characters? Let’s see some witty shit we (everyone) can come up with! nnThe fxxxing Website was a show, all the time. And perhaps not unlike AOL chatrooms back in the far off days of yesteryear (there’s an odd way of saying “a long time ago”) in the mid/late-90s? I do not recall if AOL chats were *that* amusing/engaging at that time, to be honest. But, I assume, the early days of AOL chats, like the 2009-2011 Twitter will be lost and gone from memory, eventually. At least I am *assuming* that is what will happen.nnLike the Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp) line from *Secret Window*: “her death will someday be a mystery – even to me”.nnBe smart, kids – stay off socials. Stay free, have a life, be good. nnThe endnn;)nn

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jamie@example.com
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