You know how if/when you know someone, anyone, that they can sort of alter your brain chemistry? Like, longterm (or, as long as you're friends with them)? This can have a neutral effect, or a net positive one (hopefully), or, it can be like pouring battery acid on your brain cells.
I, am in a state of "detoxing" from a bad "friendship" (or, several of them). They were not my friends. They were toxic - that is ALL they were. It's weird, detoxing from a "friendship". It's like detoxing from a drug, or detoxing from social media addiction, or detoxing from any other toxic thing. The brain has to re-route, and re-wire itself, in so many ways.
So, where does this bring me? Raging through the pain. Just feeling flat-out furious about the "detox pains". I know, longterm, this is for GOOD, and that I am getting BETTER, but it still isn't nice (feeling).
I basically think hateful, horrid, terrible things until I cannot think of them any longer, and then I move on from there.
I feel better at this exact moment, though.
I thought I'd share this. Because it gets to the point where I am less functional in a "normal" way, and I cannot bring myself to write, or surf the Internet, or even open the laptop. And I am glad I did share this, because it gave me an activity to do for a few mild moments while I wasn't wanting to spit fire from my lungs.