No lamp will arrive today. They sent it to Charlotte, NC. because...unknown reasons. So, I contacted Wyze and and going to get a refund, instead. They can either deal with FedEx, themselves and get the thing sent to my address or give me back my money, as I did nothing incorrect in this transaction.

Anyway, right now, I am sitting in my living room having had two cups of bold coffee, and a bowl of SG Navy Flake tobacco, and feeling "up and at 'em", indeed. Also feeling less in a "hopeful" mood and much more in a celebratory destruction type of mood. The satisfaction one would derive from throwing a rock through a car window as a reckless teenager, that is the same satisfaction I derive (or would like to derive) from the torrential downturns in modern civilization. Be it climate change, economic turmoil, inflation, cultural degradation, political unrest, etc. - it's all fine by me. I have no "bright and beautiful society" to anticipate, or some offspring to hand it off to - what we (everyone) have done, and continue to do, is just that: consequences of our doing and problems we created by simply choosing to be. And we carry through, we "progress", we get high on our own creations and advancements (even if it means destroying a species here and there - even our own), and go forth with pure reckless abandon, no fxxxs given, indeed.

And I'm the same, the same as all of you - equally guilty and complacent. I don't pretend to be disgusted by the injustices, and the inequalities, and unfairness of what we have, what we continue to do. I don't pretend to "care" or "take concern" with bad shit that occurs. Of all the terrible shit that has happened over the course of 10+ years, I genuinely get a thrill from it all. And I have written before about the "enthralling nature" of unrest, of disruption, of a potential (and really a likely) "what if" scenario of ecological disturbances creating havoc in/on the world. And it's just how I assume things will be. How I "see the world in 10 (or more) years". So, it is more or less a instinctual premonition that we won't have much of a "progressive civilization", an "advanced society", or an "organized infrastructure" in due time. And it is just that in terms of human presence on Earth - a matter of time.

But not all hope is lost, of course. There is a sense of "hope" (or at least great amusement) in the loss of it all. We can choose to cower and cry and quit and complain, or we can simply partake in the "life handed to us". Choosing to go on (or get on) with it, without a preconceived promise of "moving forward" is what adapting to life on Earth is all about.

Choose life. Be happy. Be free.

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